Review: World’s Fastest Pizza

I know what you’re thinking. A serious review on this game? That is a recipe for disaster, kinda like electing Tony Abbott. ‘World’s Fastest Pizza’ is a high speed rogue-like comedy game about delivering pizza to the hungry customers of a sleazy fast-food restaurant. Developed by Oscar Brittain, you play as Tortoiseman, who also works under the alias of Cornelius Pretorius. Aside from winning the naming lottery, the game’s protagonist also has the prestige of working at fast-food restaurant in the outbacks of Australia.

Upon booting this game up, my first reaction was to immediately draw comparisons between the aesthetic in this game and Hotline Miami. They are remarkably similar, Hotline Miami has you deliver justice to the masses of Miami, this game has you deliver pizza to some customers who well, just want pizza. This is often trickier than expected when you include the fact that the rest of Australia seems hell bent on ensuring you don’t deliver the pizza. The soundtrack in this game also reminded me of the halcyon days in Hotline Miami. The menu in this game is quite simple, you can either do the simple tutorial, view the credits, or jump straight into the game. I did not sight an options menu, and as a result, I believe this game is locked in full screen.

Don’t tell me you forgot my drink

The game play in this game is simple, you use the directional buttons or WASD to move your character. In my one and a half hours of play, I wasn’t required to use any other buttons. You frantically navigate through the levels to deliver your pizza to a bulls-eye that is painted on the ground in every level. The faster you delivered the pizza, the more money you received. This seemed quite simple until you realize that the game throws a spanner into the works by setting this game in Australia. Suddenly, you are dodging bullets, running past lizards, breaking through windows and trying to run away from a guy called ‘Doug’. I asked my mate in Brisbane, and he said this was quite realistic. So props to the developer for taking their time to add realism to this game. Your character is a bit thick skinned, which I imagine is necessary to survive in Australia, and as a result can survive multiple hits during his run. At the end of each run you regain full health. After 3 runs, you are taken back to your restaurant to take another order of pizza. It is at this point where you are given the option to spend some of your money to purchase ‘not so superpowers’ to help you survive in suburban Australia. You are able to hire a flash mob, a parrot, a time machine, and even a koala to help you in your quest to deliver the pizza. I was mildly disappointed that you are unable to call in the help of Malcolm Turnbull.

That said, the game does have a few niggling issues. My character sometimes got stuck in an object and jerked around until he was free. This was a bit annoying as it broke away from the otherwise fluid game play. The game could also benefit from a wider variety of levels, but I guess it is a bit difficult when the setting is Australia and 95% of it is desert land and the other 5% is New Zealand.

No Doug, I will not donate to a charity of your choice, please stop following me

Overall, the game is quite fun for the price you pay. Costing only $2.99 USD, the game is good for a few hours of cheesy puns and slapstick comedy. The game’s crust is just filled with memes and Australian pop culture references. Definitely pick up this game if you are planning on moving to Australia as it gives an accurate representation of life in the country. For the small price you pay, it is a fun, albeit short, rogue-like game with very fluid movement and full controller support. It will be interesting to see if this developer decides to continue supporting this game in the future.

Key Provided by the Developer. 





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